Silence

It's time to reveal what's been in the silence for me

It’s been 5 months as of yesterday.  Five months since I last wrote - for you, for me, for anyone.

I’ve been thinking a lot about silence - what it can hold.  I’ll write more about that later.

Today, I’m breaking the silence.  I want to be VERY clear that my silence was NOT due to shame.  My silence was encased in fear.  It is encased in fear. 

My life has changed and while I absolutely don’t give a rat’s ass if you disagree with me or choose to think differently than I do, I do care deeply that you understand me.  I don’t know why, but I have a deep yearning to be understood.  And the biggest thing I want you to understand is that I love and that love is real.

In February, I became the mother of a daughter.  Mia is her name.  She’s beautiful, she’s hilarious, she’s creative, she’s fiercely loving, she’s wise beyond her years….I could go on.  And while I’ve known her her entire life, I’ve only known her as my daughter for 9 months. 

Hmm, the time of pregnancy.  Maybe today actually is the perfect day for me to share this with the world.  She and I have been getting to know each other in new ways these last nine months and now it’s time for rebirth.  

I do have a lot to say about my life in the last 5 months since I’ve written.  That will come.

For now I just want to say that I’m ready to climb out of my cocoon of fear and embrace the love that I know will be coming.  

I’ve missed you!